A Heart Attack! T_T

OH GAWD! i don't know what to do!
my heart is now beating fast, it's like i'll have a heart attack any minute now. gahhd! (please help!)

if you're asking me why i'm feeling like this right now, it's because of my own stupidity (or is it really my fault?)
i don't know what to do. i'm really freaking out and i felt like crying. seriously, if you'll fill in my shoes you'd know what i really feel. i want to die now. (lord, please take me now!) T_T

well, here is the real story behind this.
a few weeks ago every Saturdays and Sundays (until now)  i would always go to my aunt's house because i just want to visit them and have a little fun with them. But! "the other monkey" is really not cool with what i'm doing because she don't want me to go and she really dislikes it but what can she do? or shall i say - what can THEY do? they can't do anything about that because i would really go to my aunt's house and spend the weekend with them and i'm happy here! i'm happy being with them. i'm happy staying at their house. and i'm happy joking around with them! i have something to ask. IS IT WRONG TO GO AT YOUR AUNT'S HOUSE AND SPEND TIME WITH THEM? well, my answer is.. No. it's NOT WRONG! and there is nothing WRONG with it! it's not like i was doing something illegal here and it's not like i'm going at other people's house 'cause definitely - I'M NOT in other people's house! and i don't consider them as "other people" because THEY'RE MY RELATIVES! for god sake! why am i being in the middle of their stupid fight? (yess! it really sounds stupid for me.) How can grown ups fight over something so small? I swear some of adults are so immature. :p

no offense. :))

anyway, i guess this will be the last weekend that i'll be able to spend with my cousins. but i had a lot of fun when i'm spending my time with them. This will be sad for me but it's alright because i know that i can get through with this. This is just a small problem that God gave me and my family because he knows that we will be able to handle this. I hope that soon enough they'll be together again without any hatreds from each other. but. just pure love. <3

my boring but relaxing day. :D

I decided to go with my aunt at the beach because i want to escape my other aunt (the one who's taking "care" of me) because she's too annoying for me to bare and i can't take it anymore. (well, thats what i think) and seriously, i really dont like her that i think i could die leaving with her everyday and seeing her annoying evil face with glaring eyes (ha!ha!ha! I'm just exaggerating but i'm not kidding and HALF of what i said about her is TRUE!) enough about her i don't want her to be the main character in this thing. Back to the topic i decided to go with them because i'm kinda bored and the truth is i kinda miss them but i can't say that out loud because i think it's   too "cheesy" and i don't like mushy stuffs it just gives me goosebumps. sheesh. i really want to enjoy my time here and spend it with my favorite ever "kulit" cousin faith i really like her to the extent that i can't live without her. (LOL! Just kidding) but i like her because she's so cute and she's so funny that she don't have to do anything to be funny. Hahaha (well you see, she's still a baby thats why.) now you understand why i like her but if you don't then just let it be and just move on. ;) just like what i said i want to have "fun" but it turns out to be the opposite of it. At first it was ok that i can still laugh at the "corny jokes" but time pass by and yeah i got bored. But the nice thing that happened to me that day is i got out of the city and my mind is a bit at peace. I breath the nicest air that i didn't breath for the last century and i like the feeling of being relieve from the tensions in the city even just for awhile. And i like the feeling of being hug by the salty fresh air. And i know that i made the right descision in not staying home with the computer on my face. And it sure hella worth it.  ((:

this thing happened last week and i just want to share it. :)

for real?

when i saw this video clip i was really shocked.

i was like - is this for real?

Is gd really hitting seungri?

i don't know if they're just playing around but it really looks like they're not and they're facial expression is kinda pissed. I really don't know how to react with this but are they fighting?

i was really startled when i saw the video. GAHHD! I hope they're not.

If they're just playing around then why is hitting involved? haha.

but seriously, hitting isn't good. :)

anyway, here's the video clip.

:\

DARAGON is LOVE!

I'm fond of reading fanfics specially about dara and gd or DARAGON. i really like their tandem that i would really love seeing them together not just in fictional stories but i want them to be together in real life. haha. that is too impossible but who knows maybe they'll end up together right? and i am hoping for that day to come. *laughs* :))

well, aside from daragon love team, i'm also loving the ToDara tandem which is i'm kinda torn between the two. :\

anyway, i really love the author who wrote it, that's why i was engrossed by the stories. and that's why i'm addicted with daragon because it's the authors fault. lol. It's because she really writes the whole thing as if it was really happening in real life, and when you read it. You would actually think that its a real life story being told in public thats how the story hit me. :D

so if you don't have any idea in what i was talking about, if you don't know DARAGON. Well, here's a picture of them.

and here's the animated daragon :)

cute right? kekeke ^^

About Me.

if i will fully describe myself then it will be too long for me to say all of it, and honestly i don't really know myself as much as other people know the real me.

So i will just tell you a few things that i know about myself and here it goes.

one word that best describes me is: hardheaded. i am a very hardheaded person and i will literally do everything just to get the things that i want in other words i'm also a brat. ha! ha! ha!

BUT i can be good if i want to and i'm not really good at school, i don't usually study because i'm too lazy for it. LOL. enough with the flaws. let's head to a positive me. :)

i am still kind and respectful even though i have other awful attitudes that even a dog can't eat (as what they told me) haha. but who doesn't have bad attitudes right? even those people that we adore has negative sides and it's just normal for us to have that kind of quality. anyway, i am very fond in reading books that makes sense, i also love watching movies, and i really love to laugh my ass off.

And if you would see me laughing and smiling like nothings wrong or lets just say "it looks like I've got no problem at all" well, think again because in this world we have to be strong to protect ourselves from harsh discriminations or problems that we can no longer bare and for me to do that i just have to smile and laugh for a while to take the pressure away even just for a little time. :)

my virtual diary :)

well, this is my blog and i don't know how to say this but i'm so excited and i'm happy because i'll be able to write something that makes sense or the other way around. lol. but i want this blog to be my online diary because as you can see i'm always here in front of the computer doing nothing and i always end up being bored so i decided to sign up and make a blog that can actually be worth my time and i want to express myself through writing.

and i really want to have a diary that i can write anything after my exhausting day but i'm just so lazy to pick up a pen and write something about what happened in my boring day. so yeah. just like what i said i just decided to blog the things that i wanted to write. i think this is a lot more convenient for me because i'm too lazy for anything else aside from sitting here in front of the monitor. :D

that's all for now. maybe tomorrow i'll be going to post something about myself. :))

goodnight :)